~Just your average 小悪魔~

Baby, are you down, down, down, down, down~?

2009-11-26T03:29:23Z

It is finally Thanksgiving break! YAY!!!
I've actually been feeling ok the past few days, despite the three tests I had in two days and all the shit I had to do. I don't want to dwell on it anymore...I do way too much of that in my life.
I got my test results for the SAT II in Japanese. 700 out of a possible 800. Pretty good score if I may say so myself. I'm thinking about taking it again next year though, just to see if I can bring it up lol.
I also had a math test yesterday that I'm actually a bit confident in. Though I'm hesitant to be optimistic because A) I'm AWFUL at math and B)I'm just not very good at taking tests.
Anyway...yeah, I'm feeling less emo and more...happy? lol
I REALLY want to catch up on fanfics, and be more active on jphip. But there's something stopping me, not exactly sure what though. Everytime I go to log in, something inside me tells me not to...same as when I try to start reading fics again.
Hmm...I'm confused.

poof

2009-11-16T02:45:28Z

I kinda want to disappear.

Idk why...I'm just feeling down about everything. Like nothing is going my way.

I want to be happy, honestly, and I'm trying my best to keep my spirits up. But it's getting too hard.

What is this thing called life?

2009-11-15T03:55:31Z

I thought I had found somewhere to fit in...but now, I'm not so sure.

...

2009-11-11T02:57:47Z

I feel weird.

Like in ways I can't explain...but not in the way that this post may make it seem! :P

Rawr...I want to punch something...and be held at the same time.

I am confused about many things, things are not going the way that I planned/anticipated.

O_O;

Nervousness is me

2009-11-07T05:47:23Z

The test is tomorrow. I'm scared, even though I did very well on the practice one.
I can't help but feel like I'm gonna fuck up or something. I don't do well with this kind of stuff, obviously. haha

Hmm, I noticed something lately too...I don't really talk with very many people online. lol Just in general. My buddy list...is probably more than half-filled with people I don't talk to and there are MANY people that I'd like to talk to...but I'm too shy to ask for any sort of contact information. This goes for both people in my real life, and those who are part of my online social life.

Somehow, I feel forgotten. O_O;

snores

2009-11-05T05:31:43Z

Wow, I'm tired. o_O;
Staying up to finish homework is not fun...not fun at all. Makes me all cranky and needy. lmao
Yuck, SAT II Japanese test prep tomorrow and then the real test on Saturday! *screams and hides under covers in bed*

Oh shit...

2009-10-31T00:44:02Z

It's been so long since I posted here. And I kinda miss it, to be honest.
Not too much has happened since I last posted. I started junior year. I'm stressed and broken down. My grades are the worst they've ever been in my life.
No one wants to talk to me anymore. Not people in my real life but my old friends online...I wonder what I did wrong.
Meh, I guess I shouldn't worry about that, huh? It was bound to happen, now wasn't it? I have a knack for driving people away and ending up alone...
Yup.

Best Vacation Ever: Shortcut lol

2009-08-13T16:06:36Z

Ok, I'm sorry to say that I'm really lazy so I'll be linking to the rest of my summary. LOL

Words: http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=18472.780
Pics: http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=18472.940

Japan is coming up soon...but I forgot to take notes so bear with me. lmao

Best Vacation EVER: Parts 1 and 2

2009-07-05T16:09:42Z

Ok, I just got home from LA yesterday. LOL (Sorry Essy....I was at home when I talked to you....no chance of seeing them off....) I've decided to do an entry series, like the one I did for my Japan trip. So as before, one part=one day. This entry is the first two days b/c it's pretty boring and there's not much Momusu goodness involved. lmao I may wait a bit to post more b/c my friend's dad took pictures and I won't have them until they get home, which could be later today or tomorrow.

So the first day of my journey was June 30. We left our house at 9:30 AM and drove 7 1/2 hours to Irvine, CA. Didn't do much, just ate dinner and went to sleep. LMAO

Second day was July 1. I went on a college tour of the University of California Irvine. Oh my gah, I loved it. :D Will definitely be applying there in a couple years. We then left Irvine for LA. It's supposed to be a 45-minute drive but this was the first time I really experienced LA traffic. 3 FUCKING HOURS!!!! It took 3 hours to get that short distance.....I was going crazy. lol But it was all good once we got there. Absolutely beautiful hotel....filled with cosplayers. LMAO I'll admit, I was a little overwhelmed but a lot of the costumes were pretty elaborate. We got settled in our room and then headed down to the lobby to drive to Japan Town for dinner. (Random note: I've now been to all of the US Japan Towns!!!!)
Now this is where the Momusu stuff comes in. lol I was getting out of the elevator when two Japanese women passed me. I looked up and then did a double take. It was Sayu and her manager!!!! I was amazed and in awe. She was so pretty~~ When she calls herself the cutest/sexiest member, she's telling the truth. LMAO
We went to dinner and I feel so bad for annoying my parents with all my happy talking. LOL But I'm so so grateful that they brought me. I ate hiyayakko (cold tofu with bonito flakes, green onions and soy sauce) and salmon ochazuke (rice and tea mixed with salmon, kinda like a gruel, usually eaten when you're sick lol) It was so delicious though. The rest is meh. Just bought some manju (mochi-like stuff filled with red bean, I'm awful at describing these things lmao) and ate it back in the room. Took a shower and went to bed. LMAO

I feel dusty

2009-06-21T23:15:12Z

Got back from a 2-hour hike about an hour ago. My parents are making me do this damn hike every Sunday so we can condition for climbing Mt. Fuji in August. Rawr, it makes my feet hurt. LOL
It's Father's Day so my mom made me get up and make my dad breakfast...even though he was already awake. LOL So I made scones and fried some sausage. I was gonna make him some eggs too but I let my mom do that b/c I couldn't flip them. haha I don't eat eggs so I'm not too great with cooking them. And then for lunch, we went to In-And-Out after hiking. The funny thing is that we did that for Mother's Day too. haha my parents like burgers. I admit, they are delicious~
Ugh, I'm thinking about taking a shower soon b/c my hair feels gross and my body feels all dusty, hence the subject line LOL. I'm still wearing this cool running shirt I bought~ It makes my boobs look good. LMAO how vain am I?
OMGOMGOMG!!!! Random thought but Gaki's hair is BLACK again!!!! I saw the group pic on the Gooch's blog and I couldn't find her at first. LOL I thought she was Sayu but then I saw Sayu and was like ????? After flipping back a few pages I found the solo pic and it made me excited~ She looks soooo cute~~ It was like a flashback with the pigtails. But I love cute Gaki just as much as I love sexy Gaki!
*yawns* Maybe I'll take a nap first.....

Music Meme

2009-06-17T06:21:36Z

B/C I don't wanna go to sleep. LOL

RULES:
1. Put Your iTunes/Windows Media Player/ETC on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Put this on your journal.

1. If someone says, "Is this okay?" You say?
    This Time (LOL that works! My shock.)

2.How would you describe yourself?
   There Are Worse Things I Could Do (Oh yeah, baby, there are~)

3.What do you like in a girl/guy?
   Lolita Strawberry in Summer (O__O)

4.How do you feel today?
   Money Maker (LOL)

5.What is your life's purpose?
   甘えんぼ AKA Baby (How can this be so accurate? haha)

6.What is your motto?
   いろはにほへと AKA Irohanihoheto (....ok)

7. What do your friends think of you?
    Good Morning (haha, at least it's positive~)

8. What do you think of your parents?
    僕らが生きる My Asia AKA My Asia, Where We Live (yeah....sure....)

9.What do you think about very often?
Last Summer (Fits but not really haha)

10.What is 2 + 2?
     ONE WAY (Fuck yeah! haha)

11.What do you think of your best friend?
     私立共学 AKA Private School (But we both go to public school....)

12.What do you think of the person you like?
   優しい言葉 AKA Kind Words (I suppose you could say that)

13.What is your life story?
     Strip Tease (Oh my, that's wrong LMAO)

14.What do you want to be when you grow up?
     悲しみトワイライト AKA Twilight of Sadness (*face palms*)

15.What do you think of when you see the person you like?
     Good Bye (Shit lol)

16.What will you dance to at your wedding?
     青い空探して AKA Looking for a Blue Sky (Don't know how to dance, especially to this song)

17.What will they play at your funeral?
     Last Letter (How timely LOL)

18.What is your hobby/interest?
     みんなだいすき AKA I Love Everyone (*snickers*)

19.What is your biggest fear?
     告白の噴水広場 AKA My Confession's Fountain Plaza (Oddly true)

20.What is your biggest secret?
     Damaged (Well, I don't think it's much of a secret)

21.What do you think of your friends?
     Miss Independent (Hellz yeah, work it ladies~)

22.What will you post this as?
      ズキュンLOVE AKA Whoosh! Love (LOL)

23.What song would you play during your first time having sex?
     With You (Awww~)

No Wai!!!

2009-06-17T04:52:46Z

I'm updating twice in one week?! LOL Yeah, believe it.
Hmmm, what did I do today? Oh yes, I woke up at 8:00 and baked a cake. Not even kidding, LOL. I kinda fucked it up at first but it turned out edible. I think it's drying out already though. :(
After that, I went to Japanese class for an hour and a half. Me and the dude in my class are going to Japan in August so we're getting some extra practice in. But I ain't worried about either one of us, we got this, mang~ LOL
I took my Japanese teacher out to lunch once class was over. We had ramen. Yum haha. I probably spoke 85% Japanese and 15% English, pretty much talking about H!P the whole time~ My teacher is cool and lets me run my mouth. haha
Then, I went with my parents and grandma to buy some hiking boots for my grandma for climbing Mt. Fuji. I bought a T-shirt for running. Woot. haha
I've been doing pretty much nothing ever since.
And yeah....

Blah

2009-06-15T05:51:18Z

I feel bad, I never know what to say on here anymore. LOL b/c it's always me either being super happy or super emo. :P
I was thinking today about my life and how differently I live from other ppl my age. Most kids are going out a lot and hanging with friends and whatnot, while I'm just sitting here at home with my parents. LOL It's kinda sad. But it's not like I don't love my friends or wanna be with them....I'm just different from them and I don't want them to not know what to talk to me about. Unfortunately, I don't have too much in common with a good deal of my friends these day, except memories of what it was like before. And I know it's me that changed, for the better or for the worse, you decide.
But yeah, I'm probably not as happy as I'd like to be at the moment but hey, you can't have everything you want. Life isn't great but it isn't awful either. So I have no reason to complain, other than the fact that I seem to be pretty good at it. LMAO

Whirlwind of a day LOL

2009-06-09T01:42:45Z

Hisashiburi ne~ haha
Anyway, today was my official last day of school. I have self-scheduling tomorrow but I don't wanna think about it right now. Haha I went to all of my classes and got my grades for most of them. All A's except for one B, in math. But I'm just glad I didn't get a C. LOL
I also spent a TON of time helping Takemoto-sensei clean up her classroom and put everything away b/c of summer school. I worked a total of 9 mods and stayed afterschool until 5:00 helping her, along with 3 other girls. Where the FUCK were all the rest of the Honors Society ppl?! FUCK THEM!!! I better get some extra credit for this shit. LMAO I just got home like 10 minutes ago. And I feel kinda bad b/c my friend just called me to talk about schedules but I'm too fucking tired so I said I'd call her back. LOL
That was the kinda shitty part of my day...but there were good parts too! YAY!! I got to hang out with Sexy English Teacher and she told me to feel free to email her this summer. *grins wide* She says I'm an amazing writer and that she'll be happy to help me edit stuff!!! Uwaaaa, I'm chou happy! I also got the highest grade on the personal narrative in the class!!! Oh yeah, and I got to hug her too~~~
So I'm feeling super happy and super tired right now. But after arena tomorrow, 2 months of not having to go to school!!!!!!

Confused~

2009-05-11T23:36:29Z

I feel like my head is spinning. Everything is happening too fast and I feel like I'm missing it all. I don't like this feeling.

And on a different note....Rui-kun. *sighs* I haven't seen him for weeks and well, it's not doing well for me. I feel like I'm kinda liking him less and less, which makes me sad b/c he really is a nice (and hot LOL) boy that I could see myself having a nice relationship with. But it's weird. I feel like I'm looking for someone to have a future with, rather than just a teenage fling. I personally think I'm too young to be thinking like that but I can't help it. Broken hearts don't look fun.

I wanna be ok.
*curls up in a ball*

Wow

2009-04-27T13:24:17Z

I'm 16 now. Time flies.

居酒屋

2009-04-26T04:09:59Z

So I went out to dinner with my parents tonight for my birthday. It's a couple days early but it's cool. We went to Izakaya, which in Japanese means "pub" or "bar". Yeah....LOL. Obviously, I'm more interested in the food than in the alcohol. Just like the ones in Japan, this one has some REALLY good and interesting dishes. We ate a TON, btw, so I apologize if this post gets boring. LOL
We started with some shichimi togarashi (Japanese 7 spice blend) french fries. OMG they are so awesome! Then we got some complementary little dish of ahi (yellowfin tuna) and mizuna (some sort of green vegetation thing) in a tofu sauce. It sounds weird but it was so good. And I usually don't like raw fish. I also had some miso soup, which was good. Then we got a plate of yakisoba (fried noodles) with kurobuta (black pig, basically just pork), satsuma imo (sweet potato) and egg. It was alright, not really my favorite dish, though both my parents loved it. Next up was grilled teriyaki riceballs. MMM, so good but there was too much sauce this time, as opposed to last time. My parents had some asparagus in miso, but I don't like asparagus so I didn't eat any. LOL Then we had some chicken breast (SASAMI!!! LMAO) with umeboshi. It was REALLY good. We also had some satsuma imo croquettes, which were good but super rich. I don't think I could handle eating more than one. Next was some steak thingy, which I thought was ok, a little undercooked for my taste.
For dessert, we had some little beignets with strawberry jam and my dad had a coconut mochi thing. Our "regular" server (We've only been there as a family one time before and the same guy served us) even put a candle in it!
So yeah, I had a nice birthday dinner~ I now have a dream/fantasy of going to an izakaya with Miki-sama.....LMAO, thanks to her blog where she talks about going to one.

Cooking is fun~

2009-04-20T04:35:37Z

So tonight I had to prepare 5 onigiri (rice balls) for my Japanese homework. I know, weirdest but quite possibly most fun assignment ever. LOL But it wasn't all fun and games. We actually had a criteria: 5 in total, all must be filled with something. Now, consider this: most of the ppl in my class are not Japanese, nor have they ever made onigiri. So it wasn't a surprise when my teacher specifically mentioned that wasabi is NOT an appropriate filling. LMAO
Anyway, so I made mine just now. I cooked the rice all by myself but I did have my mom help me with the actual making of the onigiri b/c she's good at it. I used to eat them for lunch all the time in elementary school. She says I did a pretty good job on my own, though~ I also used the remaining rice to make 2 more for my dad's lunch~

Picture: they are wrapped in plastic wrap, that's why they look a little shiny, btw. LOL

From left to right: nori furikake (seaweed rice seasoning, no filling), salmon, pickly ume stuff, salmon, nori furikake.

Aren't they adorable? I'm so proud.

寂しい

2009-04-13T00:22:59Z

たまに、私は「一人ぼっちになった」と思います。みんなを出て。。。私だけいます。本当にいやな気持。私は人間だから、一人になるのが怖い。「放っておいてくれ」を言いますけど、実は、一人になりたくない。それは多分一番怖い、一人になること。

何か、落ち込んだ。まあ、いっか、しょうがない。この時もあるから。

じゃあ、今シャワを浴びるつもりです。今日は何を歌うかな？（笑）

Answer Meme~~

2009-04-12T07:30:32Z

Stolen from sequindreams

1. One word to describe me:
2. Your first impression of me:
3. Nicknames you would give me and call me:
4. Something you always wanted to tell me/ask me:
5. Would you repost this on your journal so I can fill it out for you?

I'm not expecting too many responses...but please do it if you get the chance. LOL I'm wagamama~ GIVE ME LOVE!!!!!

SPRING BREAK!!!!

2009-04-05T02:00:39Z

I'm so glad it's finally spring break! You have no idea how happy I am. Well, maybe you do. LOL For a week, I won't have to get up at 6 or sit in class bored or run laps in PE or do lame things like clean the chalk tray thing while TAing or... Yeah, lots of things I can get away from.
BUT....this week will also suck. *gasp* Because I have a bunch of other things to do, things I can't do (or it's better not to do) during school. Such as go to the doctor (ugh i'm almost 16 too...which means I'll soon have to do THAT...double ugh) and get my teeth x-rays (I hate those little ouchy plastic things!) and do GS homework (That Gold Award better pay off!!) and do regular homework (meh, not much so that's kinda ok) and.... So as nice as it is to not have to go to school, I still have crap to do. *pouts*
In other news, Elder Club has officially graduated! Congrats to all of them, though I miss them already. I have a feeling many of them will stay fairly active, and just as many will fade into obscurity. But we've had a good run and good luck to them and their future projects! (May I predict marriages and babies? LOL Leaving the Project will have some perks, I suppose)
Don't know what else to talk about. LOL Umm, I saw Rui-kun last wednesday~ I think he's pretty much quit Japanese class b/c money's tight in his family. So it was a nice surprise to see him at my school. We go to different schools, btw, he just comes to hang out with other ppl. He gave me a hug and it was nice. LOL Guess I still like him after all. Sometimes I feel like we click and other times, it's like, we're so different. Oh well, either way, I'm sure we'll stay friends. At least I hope so.
OH OH OH!!! Forgot part of the reason I wanted to post! I got my National Japanese Honors Society jacket yesterday. It's a track jacket and I'm so in love with it. It's a little on the big side but it's cotton so it might shrink anyway. Pics will follow soon, like in a few when I actually take pictures. LOL

Front

Back

Front detail

Back detail

私の服は私のチョイスでしょう？

2009-03-31T01:58:02Z

I don't know what's up lately but a lot of people have been bugging me about the way I dress. It's been annoying the SHIT out of me. Why should it be anyone's business about what kind of clothes I wear? I'll admit, sometimes I kinda look like a guy but what if I like it that way? It's my choice. And it's not like the clothing I wear isn't girl-clothes, it's just not pink or particularly girly. And it's not like you can't tell I'm female. I have pretty long hair, a female-looking face (sounds weird but I don't know how else to put it) and the real sign, boobs. Hahahahaha. The clothes I wear aren't baggy enough to cover them up. LOL
Hey, I'm actually saving people from having to look at me in form-fitting clothes. My body is veeeeery....not cute? LOL But really, I do own some pretty girly stuff, I just choose not to wear it. Some call it low self esteem, I call it staying true. It's not like I'd be any more popular or smart if I dressed like everyone else. If people started being nicer to me and liking me and shit like that, I wouldn't want to be associated with their shallow asses anyway. I want people to like me for who I am.
Which I guess, in general, is why I am the way I am. I don't want to hide myself behind makeup and pretty clothing and have someone like me, only to be broken-hearted when they leave b/c they find out I'm not really like that. I certainly wouldn't want to do that to anyone else. To me, that is beyond cruel. Making someone think that have a chance and then pulling the rug out from under their feet.
Meh, just a little rant.

Hisashiburi ne...

2009-03-21T18:46:53Z

Yabai, it's been nearly a month since I last posted!!! (0___0)

To be honest, my life's been pretty mainstream. Nothing worth blogging about. Just too much school and too much free time. I know I'm contradicting myself but that's what it feels like. I'm constantly doing projects and homework but at the same time, I feel like I've been sitting around doing nothing just as much. LOL Could just be my lazy tendencies mixed with my desire to get good grades. Which reminds me that I got a 3.8 on my report card! All A's except for one B in math but I wasn't expecting anything more in that class. Highest GPA I've gotten in high school so far. I'm pretty proud of myself.

On to other stuff! I haven't been writing much, just too lazy. I love it but I'm so devoid of ideas. B/C I really hate writing the same stuff as other ppl. Even if I'm not doing it on purpose, it makes me feel like I'm copying them. Which brings me to my next point: I'm writing a het fic about me and Rui-kun. It's pretty lame right now though. It's purely for writing practice so no one's gonna get to see it! Except for Nee-chan, I think. I'm having mixed feelings toward him lately though. Sometimes I'm so madly in love and other times, I don't even want to think about him. B/C sometimes, he has that obnoxious boy-thing going on and it infuriates me. I hate it when guys are like that. I know I'm being unfair and the perfect boy doesn't exist without that side of him but grrrr.

Ok, that's all. Just wanted to confirm that I'm still around and stuff. Haha.

I need sleep

2009-02-24T05:31:44Z

I've been so tired for the past month or so. I don't know why though, it's not like I do much but go to school. I hope I'm not getting that sleeping disease where you sleep away most of your life b/c that's some scary shit right there. I mean, I like sleeping but I also like doing stuff...sometimes. LOL
Today was meh, nothing special. Got my College and Career presentation over with. In fact, I volunteered to go first. B/C I was so desperate to just do it. It's been hanging over my head for about 2 weeks now so it feels kind of nice to be done. Grading period's over this week so I feel like it'll be smooth sailing. I also have 2 half days this week, yay. More time to work on my stupid-ass essay for Hot English Teacher.
I've run out of things to say...*falls asleep with head on keyboard*

Grrr....

2009-02-10T04:17:58Z

I'm back...kinda.
Just got an email from BFF reminding me that I had promised to meet her during school today so that she could give me a cupcake b/c she baked this weeked, Obviously, I forgot and now I feel so guilty. She's always, always there for me and I've been the shittiest friend, let alone BFF, ever lately. Why is it that I can't manage my life too well? Now that I'm doing better in school, I neglet the one whose always been there. I'm not totally emo, just a little disappointed in myself.

Babe, I'm sooooo sorry I forgot to meet you today! I was just so wrapped up in my own shit. I know you don't want to hear excuses and I'm not gonna give you any. I just plain forgot. You've been so supportive of me all these years and I've been neglecting you....*cries* Please don't hate me~ I know I'm making such a big deal out of it, probably more than you are but I just feel so horrible for doing that.
Forgive me? Do it b/c you know I love you? Please?
Why yes, I am begging. haha But the real question I should be asking is: After all this, will you still buy me a drink? *prays that I make you smile at that*
If you still want to give it to me, I'll see you after reg/before 6/7 like usual? Unless you have hw again...
Once again (though you're probably tired of hearing it) I'm sooo sorry.
I love you, BFFL!